Heard of ‘Glass children’
Glass children are called so not because they are fragile, but rather because their parents look right through their needs as they would be preoccupied with their sibling who would be struggling with a disability or any chronic disease.
According to the Sibling Leadership Network, an organization supporting siblings “Glass children are healthy children who have brothers or sisters with special needs. They are typically emotionally neglected, experience severe pressure to be problem-free and perfect, take on parental responsibilities within the family at a young age and have an overwhelming need to make others happy. All this while receiving little nurturing and support in their development years.”
Troubles faced by Glass Children
Growing up with a brother or sister with a disability or chronic illness, siblings go through
(a) Feelings of invisibility during social interactions
(b) Psychological difficulties due to the internalization of family roles or life
(c) Experiencing guilt and self-blame for not being able to offer constant support to their brothers or sisters or due to leading independent lives, and
(d) Issues related to social support such as siblings’ inability to understand their own needs and the importance of support from family and peer groups in helping them to have their experiences validated.
What parents can do to avoid or minimize the ‘Glass Child’ issue
No doubt parents of children with a disability or illness would already be stretched and stressed. The need to even attend to the sibling child’s feelings and expectations is going to further burden them. But then, it is essential they recognize this problem and address it early on before it becomes a grave issue.
Suggestions from a parent having a normal child and a child with special needs:
1. Plan family outings, along with the special child. It is important for both kids to know that they are equally valued and cared for
2. Plan family activities sometimes without the special child as well so the sibling child gets a chance to open up to parents and share their feelings
3. Allocate time for the sibling child every now and then so that they feel they are getting enough parent’s attention
4. Give them a normal world experience so their anxiety and stress do not spiral out. Take them to a movie, ask them how they are, drive them to the park, and help them with their homework: be their friend
Opt for Online support groups
Connecting with other brothers and sisters through online support groups can be enormously validating and rewarding. These groups allow members to get helpful support and information at all hours of the day.
SibNet: SibNet is the Internet’s first and largest online community for adult brothers and sisters of people with disabilities
Do share this blog post with parents who have a special child and a normal child. Lend them support so that they could provide the best care for both their children
